Oh, damn it!

I wanted to post on something all sweet and Christmasy, like my memory of the year Middle Kid had the flu on Christmas, slept on and off throughout the day, and was delighted during the following week to discover gifts he had unwrapped in a daze. "Is this mine?" he'd ask. "Cool."

Or, how about Youngest's first Christmas, when I wanted to get a picture of her with Santa? She was terrified of him, so I persuaded then-13-year-old Middle and recent-college-graduate and mall-store-manager Eldest to be in the picture with her, resulting in a fabulous portrait of my three kids which I display to this day.

Or how about the year Eldest was working at the checkout counter at her store, and moved from shopper one to shopper two with a cheery, "Hi, there! Merry Christmas." At this point shopper one-and-a-half, a seriously height-challenged lady, waved her hands and yelled, "Hey! What am I, chopped liver?"

But I'm too annoyed to blog about good stuff like that. Here's the thing: the punditry seems to be falling all over itself looking for a link between President Obama (screw the 'elect' part - I've moved on) and comically corrupt Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich. Now, it's one thing for them to be curious. It's another entirely for the country to be subjected to an endless string of breathless pronouncements that begin with, "What if..."

Geez. It's like they're panting for something rotten to report about the new president. Maybe they don't feel relevant anymore - and maybe they aren't. As a class, they screwed up every major story for the last eight years, beginning with the one they failed to report on the complete incompetency of that idiot they were so helpful in foisting upon us.

Look, all you talking ass-heads. We're tired of you. Sit down and shut up. (Thank you, Helen Philpot, for my new favorite phrase.)